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In Reply to: Re: Look again posted by CivilWarBBQ on March 02, 2009 at 23:19:36:
Well, to ensure tenderness, they only come from happy hogs, full of love and peace (I think a lot of them are Quakers). Then the hogs are fed a strict diet of Crunch Berries, jalapeno Cheetos, and Granny's molasses crinkles cookies. Mmmmm! And they can only wash it all down with the purest persimmon nector (said to be from the Garden of Eden) and Guinness.
Come butchering time, the hogs softly drift to sleep thanks to a mixture of The Macallan, vicodin and Jus tin Townes Earle's recording of "Can't Hardly Wait." After the hogs are butchered, the ribs are sprinkled with a magical potion that includes a powder made from the captured laughs of children, sparkling dust from a million billion stars, pixie pee, and of course, all the love that you can imagine. The result: pork that's always tender, always legal for KCBS competitions. Enjoy!