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the third annual hawgeyes classic bbq contest will be held on april 24th this year. the location will be on our deluxe concrete parking lot, in ankeny, iowa. a total cash payout of zero dollars is guaranteed! you heard it right, you have no chance of winning cash! categories are ribeye steaks for adults, and hamburgers for kids. awards for all kids, trophies for some adults. 10 kids, 10 adults needed. first ones to sign up get a free entry. wait, everyone gets a free entry. there is a private airstrip in town if you need to fly in. ice will be provided if bret remembers to fill the trays. free electricity if our extension cords will stretch to your deluxe site. need more room? i think you can park across the street. there is a water park nearby(probably closed), a zoo in des moines, i'll wash my truck, and i'll even release some helium balloons. certified judges. don't miss this chance to win zero cash, they don't come along that often. garnish is optional.
ps-thanks to all of our very generous sponsors-
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