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I hate telephones.......

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Posted by Juggy D Beerman on June 03, 2013 at 12:01:52:

In Reply to: Decipher This posted by Ol Dan on June 02, 2013 at 16:42:49:

Yo Dan, I was very reluctant to post my cell phone number as I get crank calls and spam calls all the time. Even though I have had this number for almost seven years, I still get calls from bill collectors asking for Mary Wolfe, the lady who previously had the number I use now.

I went almost seven years without a phone. It wasn't until my son moved in with me that I was forced to get a phone. Since he was going to grade school, I had to have a telephone. So let me tell you a story about why went without a phone for seven years........

I once pulled a prank on an old roommate. I place an ad in the local paper that read, "Crappie fisherman needs your used Christmas trees for crappie beds. Drop your old tree off at 524 Main or call 656-3622 for free pick up service."

This ad ran on Friday, December 29. The local paper was closed the next three days, so my buddy could not contact the office at the local paper. When he went in the following Tuesday to complain, he found out the ad had been paid for with cash. I used someone elses name when I took out the ad. He confronted that "named" person who knew nothing about what was going on. My buddy went back to the paper and described me. He knew then and there that I was the one responsible for the 20 or so trees in his yard and the endless calls he received over the weekend.

I had left town for three weeks that weekend and purposely did not pay my phone bill before I left town. I knew payback was coming and somehow my phone was going to be involved. My phone was shut off for six weeks before I paid my bill. When I paid my bill, the phone company told me that since the bill had gone unpaid for so long, they would need a deposit. They stated that the amount of the deposit would be whatever my highest bill had been during my 16 year history with them.

So after reviewing my bill history, they told me that my deposit would amount to over FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! I thought long and hard about when I could have ever had a bill this high and it came back to me. About five years before, my ex had called the Dionne Warwick psychic hotline and talked to one of their telephone psychics for almost two hours at a cost of $4.oo per minute! So I told the telephone company they could take their telephones and call someone who cared. I wasn't going to pay over $500.oo deposit for telephone service, I would use e-mail instead.

Funny thing about that five hundred dollar call. A few days after Rebecca made that call, I answered the telephone. The conversation went like this:


"Is Rebecca there?"

"No she is not, may ask who is calling?"

"Yes, this is the Dionne Warwick Pcychic Hotline. Can you tell me what time she will be home?"

I retorted, "Listen here, b!tch. You're the damned psychic. You tell ME what time she will be home!!!!!!"

And then I hung up. For some reason, they never called me back.



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