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Re: I hate telephones.......

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Posted by Dan in NorCal on June 04, 2013 at 11:41:16:

In Reply to: I hate telephones....... posted by Juggy D Beerman on June 03, 2013 at 12:01:52:

So you did the old "prank ad" on your buddy too, eh? This was the ad I took out for my buddy Dave back in 1992 (and the newspaper instituted a new ad policy just because of me after this. They also didn't ask for an ID as I also paid in cash). I happened to find the ad the other day going through my stuff for moving as I kept the front page of the college newspaper which reprinted the ad for everybody's amusement:

"For sale: attractive, professionally stuffed and mounted bottlenose dolphin. I am loathe to part with because it's a very impressive piece hanging on your wall, and I had so much fun fishing for it! It put up a real fight and made weird noises when I landed it with a gaff hook. $295 OBO, call Dave..." (I kept the price under $300 as higher would be more expensive, and this ad already was pricey as it was pretty long for a classified ad).

Well, Dolphin Dave, as he came to be known after this and not because he had been a protestor at a rally against tuna fishing that kills dolphins a few weeks earlier, had calls starting at 5:30 in the morning when the ad came out. He said, "They're yelling at me about some kind of dolphin thing, and threatening to throw a brick through my window!" (Even though the address wasn't printed nor his last name and this was before the Web). He had no idea it was me until he went down the newspaper and threatened to sue. We didn't speak for months he was so upset, as were his roomies, one of whom moved out.

Of course, I couldn't just leave it at that and I called the Humane Society that morning too. I asked them, "Have you seen this disgusting ad?!?!"


I read it to them, and followed with, "What kind of sick person brags about using a gaffe hook and the noises poor Flipper made?"

"Well, we will get right on this!"

The next day, after I had 'fessed up to Dave, I got a call from the Dept. Of Marine and Fisheries...

"Well, that's pretty creative writing you got there, son. You know that selling endangered creatures is a federal offense, right? Lucky for you I knew it was just a joke from the price alone, not to mention the writing. Next time you wanna run a prank like this, give me a call first, okay?"

"Well, what about an ad for a destitute logger selling a stuffed and mounted spotted owl...?"

"That's a different department. I'll let them handle that. By the way, your ad is the hit of a convention that I'm at."

I should've known that too many would take it seriously as when I placed the ad, the lady who received it asked, "Is this for real?"

"No, it's a joke."

"Oh... (laughs). I was thinking my daughter needs something for her wall..."

Some people are just missing a funny bone and the joke sails right over their heads, especially in print. Lesson learned during my formative college years... Still, it was the best prank I ever pulled and is still whispered about in the newspaper's ad department screeners about why they have the policies that they do.

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