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My favorite Bill Dudley story

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Posted by Glenn on June 12, 2014 at 11:22:31:

In Reply to: Bill Dudley posted by Glenn on June 12, 2014 at 11:14:34:

Hunting camp

John R. used to have some fellas from Houston come up to hunt Mule deer every year for a few days. Several of us would go down and help guide, cook and generally screw off and have a good time. One evening the meal was to be grilled Dove wraped in bacon with a jalapeno and calf fries. I am usually head cook at these things and in that capacity asked G.L. if he knew how to cook fries. He looked at me like I was dumber than a fence post, since I knew he was raised on a ranch in southern Oklahoma, and said "Yes!"

I proceded to grill the Dove, wrap ‘em in foil and place in a cooler. I looked around to see if G.L. was done yet and was told he was still frying the nuts out on the front porch. I said "Hell, he shoulda been done way before me". On the way to see what the problem was one of the other wranglers pulled me aside and said "You might talk to G.L to speed things up a little, he has only sent in about ten nuts and by the way, he might cook them a little more too". I looked at the plate and sure enough there lay ten of the sorriest and soggiest looking nuts I had ever seen. I bit into one and lets just say it was on the rare side of medium rare. In fact, it was on the rare side of rare.

Now I prefer mine about medium but have seen some people fry them until you could pitch washers with them. I always figured "to each their own" before this. I made it to the porch after a brief stop at the Weller jug. There was G.L. squatted down next to the fish cooker with a spoon in one hand and Weller n Water in the other. I just watched, speechless. He would carefully take one nut out of the bowl and gently drop it in the grease, tap it with the spoon and sort of float it to the other side and again ever so carefully scoop it up and place it on the plate to go inside. Never seen such consentration.

I squated down next to him.
"G.L., we're running a little behind in the nut department" I said.
He said "This is the only way I know how to cook'em" (remember he is from Oklahoma).
About that time John R. appears at the door with one of the Houston boys. He's hold one of the soggy nuts between thumb and forfinger and it's pointing straight at the ground.
"G.L., the nuts need a little more cooking time" he says.
G.L. takes a quick glance at the Houston guy and says to John R. with the straightest face I've ever seen "John, you only have to cook them long enough to get the cum out".
You should have seen the look on the face of that Houston feller! I swear he turned three shades of green. I like to have Sh!t I had a mouth full of Weller and it sprayed everywhere. The rest of the fellas heard the exchange and we were divided into two groups. There was one bunch of us that damn near choked to death to keep from laughing and there was the other bunch that damn near choked to death to keep from puking. I promptly took over cooking the nuts. Those Houston guys sure didn't eat much that night.

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